Stop, Challenge & Choose

A mindful approach to response

While cleaning and purging recently, I came across some notes and documentation from a training program I attended a while back.

I first learned of this practice at a time when email communication was really taking off and people were finding it easy to miscommunicate their thoughts while struggling to interpret messages as they were intended. Many arguments started with a message that may have been poorly written or thought out, poorly received and possibly misinterpreted.

I’ve found that what I learned in this program, at least from my perspective, is still relevant today.

“Stop, Challenge, Choose” offers a roadmap and a thought process to consider before responding to a message or situation that may be deemed offensive in one way or another.

It begins with:

STOP

When I’m feeling other than positive or neutral:

1)      Don’t act or decide

2)      Mentally disconnect from the situation

3)      Breathe

4)      Center

5)      Observe

CHALLENGE

1)      What am I telling myself, making up, or believing that is causing my feelings?

2)      Is there any objective data available that supports or negates my interpretation?

3)      Is it possible that there are other interpretations of the event?

CHOOSE

1)      What is my best response with regards to my feelings or behavior?

a.      Is my response based on objective and factual data?

b.      Is my response in my best, long-term interests?

2)      Choose the best response and use it!

A few recommendations for making decisions based on long-term interests:

1)      Is my thinking helping to enhance my life and health?

2)      Is my thinking helping to achieve my short and long-term goals?

3)      Will my thinking best help me avoid my most undesirable conflicts with others?

4)      Will my thinking help me feel emotionally the way I want to feel?

Success-focused responses:

1)      I will base my “truth” on objective reality

2)      I will give my personal best

3)      I am willing to get outside my comfort zone

4)      I will make decisions and choices base on rational thinking

5)      No matter what happens, I will learn from the experience

6)      I will take 100% accountability for how I respond and what I learn.

These are tough times. I find utilizing these tools to be helpful and therapeutic.

If you’re interested in learning more about this practice, Dr. Wayne Anderson has a free e-book available that dives deeper into this subject:

Stop. Challenge. Choose. E-Book | Habits of Health

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